Damn It, Why Did I Have Cereal This Morning? or…


How I Learned To Love Coconut Milk Even More.

Before the events of this post, I already loved coconut milk and keep several cans in the house at all times. Big cans, for when I’m making rice (it’s soooo good) or little cans, to toss into a smoothie. By the way, the little cans are Cool Runnings brand, because apparently my kitchen needs a bobsled team.

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“Meat”ball sandwiches


I love a good meatball sandwich. I really, really do. Especially when it is just COVERED in cheese. Mmmm. 

But meat is expensive and I’m cheap, so if I can find a vegan/vegetarian version (that doesn’t involve pricey soy meats) of a much-loved dish, I’m going to try it. A half can of chickpeas vs a pound of beef? It’s a no brainer. Plus, then I get to use the other half of the can for hummus, so I’m getting two meals for a dollar. Awesome. 

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Jessie’s Ro-Tea


This is more so I can make this dish again in the future, but I figured why not publish it here? We recently returned from a cruise to the Caribbean with my in-laws and in St. Maarten we tried the beauty that is Roti (despite there being 2 roti joint around the corner from our house). It tasted very similar to a curry I used to make in college, so I was sure that with the right spices, I could do it again. It’s stewing away in the crockpot right now because, let’s face it, these type of dishes are best done slow over a low heat.

I started with this recipe here, but immediately tossed the idea of green beans in my roti because, well, I just didn’t like the idea. The roti we had in St. Maarten had peas, so my wife suggest that, but I laughed her off. Chicken and potatoes would be good enough for us, thank you very much!

…until I got the chicken out of the freezer and discovered it had gone bad. Crap. And there’s some kind of chicken something in there, but my wife put it in and I don’t know if it’s for stock or if it’s boneless chicken thighs, so I’m not gonna chance it. Veggie potato roti it is!

And I don’t have a fresh red chili pepper…and all of my garlic is dead…and I don’t have sunflower oil…and is Indian masala the same as curry masala? Cause that’s all I got! Hokay. So after I chopped up a million and a half potatoes, I couldn’t bring myself to chop up any more. I gave in and dumped in a cup and a half of peas. It actually looks really good! And y’all know me, I can’t bring myself to add just water to a recipe, I used Jessie’s tea for the sauce in this because of the coconut realness. (No more RuPaul for Rita).

So here’s the updated list of ingredients:

1.5 pounds of potatoes cut into bite size chunks. Peel if you like, I’m too damn lazy.

1.5 cups of frozen peas

1 onion chopped as small as you can get it until you start crying and make your wife panic

.5 teaspoon of dried chili peppers

2 teaspoons granulated garlic

1.5 Tablespoons Indian masala

1 Tablespoon tomato paste

2 low-sodium chicken bouillon sachets (because of course I didn’t have cubes)

.25 teaspoon cumin

2 cups Jessie’s Tea (I let 2 heaping teaspoons steep for about 5-7 minutes)

3 tbsp olive oil

That’s…similar to the original ingredient list, right? So this is how it panned out: Pour oil into a pan on the stove, but don’t turn it on yet. Look for chicken. Get freezer burn digging for it. Find it and break all of your fingers trying to get the damn meat out of the package only to have the most ungodly smell hit you in the face. Promptly throw it away and try not to gag. Decide to be vegetarian for the night, possibly for life.

Chop onions, cry as soon as first chop is made. Try to convince cat to chop them for you. Call cat dirty names when she wrinkles her nose and runs from the room like a coward. Power through like a boss. Remember old adage about sunglasses helping when chopping onions. Find sunglasses. Still crying, but now look cool.

Mix onions with chili peppers and granulated garlic and set aside. Mix masala, cumin, tomato paste, and bouillon and set aside.  Add oil to pan on the stove. Remember you already added oil to the stove, curse, and try to add oil back to bottle of olive oil. Make huge mess all over stove. Try to wipe up oil with damp wash cloth. Remember basic science as to why that isn’t working. Curse more. Find paper towels. Finally clean up mess.

Heat up oil. Remember the drop of oil on the burner just in time to see the puff of flame on the underside of the pan. Shriek, run away, and then come back with a bucket of water to find it already out.


Okay then.

Shrug and keep water nearby just in case. Add onion mix to the hot oil and cook carefully until onions are tender. Dump in frozen peas and curse a lot as the ice sizzles and pops in the hot oil because you forgot another basic science lesson involving water and oil. Quickly add potatoes, stir to coat, and then add to the crock pot. Add the tea and let it go.

I only have four hours, so I’m going to keep it on high until 6, when the mother in law is coming over for dinner. The original recipe says 5-7 hours on low, but you probably know your crockpot better than I do. Do what you think is best. What I think is best is that I not cook for a while until I’ve got my head back in the game!

Tea Cooking Day! Santa’s Secret Divinity


Ah, it felt good to be back in the kitchen, experimenting with recipes again…it’s been far too long! And everything turned out beautifully, which makes me incredibly happy. Christmas is coming up and I usually do a massive amount of baking around this time of year. This year I decided to limit myself, since no one really eats the massive amounts of cookies I make anyway. But since Drew (my partner in crime over at Cooking Simplicitea) had suggested a Christmas-themed Tea Cooking Day, I decided to use it as my Christmas-cooking day, limiting myself to two recipes and a batch of Chex Mix. Because, really, what’s Christmas without Chex mix?

I started with the divinity, since it takes 2 hours to set and because the butter for the cookies needed to re-set. In researching divinity to try and explain it to Drew, I discovered it’s primarily a Southern thing, especially pecan divinity. When done right, divinity is a little sugary cloud that dissolves on your tongue….yum. I have a great amount of love in my heart for this candy and because it can be so fussy, Mom only made it rarely, so it’s always a treat to have.

The humidity outside is going to affect this candy. If it’s raining out, or if it’s the middle of summer, this candy likely won’t set up. Last year, my wife would chuckle at me for checking the weather every morning, looking for a cold, clear day. This year, starting in mid-October, every time we had a crisp fall day, she’d declare, “Ooooh, it’s good divinity weather!” I have taught her well. A good rule of thumb I discovered online the other day was that if you press your chin to your chest and it sticks a bit, it’s too humid for divinity. A bit crazy, but it works!

If you’ve never made candy before, divinity can be a bit daunting, but it’s really just science. I’m using my mother’s recipe with a few tweaks and changes, but this is the divinity I grew up with. Traditionally, divinity is to be piped into logs, but the idea of trying to clean that sticky goo from a pastry bag haunts my nightmares. I just use two teaspoons to plop a bit down on to wax paper or aluminum foil and go from there. Traditionally, a pecan is pressed into the top of the candy before it sets, I tend to leave that out, but in a few of these, I added some crushed peppermint…yum. On to the recipe!

You’ll need:

A non-stick pot (trust me, when cleaning up, you’ll thank me for this)

A candy thermometer

1/2 c. light corn syrup

2 1/2 c. sugar

1/4 tsp salt

1/2 c extra strong tea of choice (I used Santa’s Secret, it was amazing.)

2 egg whites (save the yolks for Alpine Punch cookie press cookies!)

1 tsp peppermint (or vanilla or almond or whatever flavor of extract compliments the tea you’re using)

1 c chopped nuts (or, in my case, crushed peppermints!

Mix corn syrup, sugar, salt, and tea. Cook, stirring until sugar is dissolved. Then cook without stirring, to firm ball stage (248 degrees F) Beat egg whites until stiff. Pour half of the syrup over egg whites, beating constantly. Cook the rest of the syrup to thread stage (272 degrees F). Add slowly to other mixture, beat til it holds its shape and loses some of its glossiness. Add vanilla and nuts, drop onto wax paper or aluminum foil. Move quickly, as it starts to set pretty fast and then it’s not nearly as pretty. Still tastes good, though! The tea flavor really comes though but not overwhelmingly so. I want to make more, but this stuff is incredibly sweet.

Hope you enjoy this recipe, I know it’s one of my favorites. If you try it, let me know how it turns out! Stay tuned, my recipe for Alpine Punch cookie press cookies will hopefully be up sometime today or tomorrow!

Pumpkin Chai Sausage with Lapsang Souchong rice


I’m back! The new job is still kicking my butt, but I’m back, sorta. Essentially I made this tonight and didn’t want to lose the recipe, so I’m sharing it here. It is soooooo good. It started here, I actually made this recipe last week, but the apples and spices turned it into a sweet/savory mix we didn’t particularly care for. So I tried it again tonight, taking out the apples and the spices and adding a kick of chili powder.

It is so, so good. I’m not a fan of onions, I might use onion powder next time instead of fresh onion, but I’ll leave that decision up to you. So here we go:
1 package of sausage (I used Original Grill-Em’s)
1 yellow onion, chopped
1/2 cup chopped carrots
3 cups already cooked long-grain rice (I cooked the rice in Lapsang Souchong Star from DavidsTea)
1/2 T Chili Powder
1 cup Pumpkin Chai or chicken stock or water
2 cloves garlic chopped finely

So, put 1/3 of the liquid (Pumpkin Chai, in my case) in a skillet and let it start to warm up. Slice your sausages as thin or as thick as you like them and put them in the skillet, cooking and stirring until they are browned and cooked. Add them to the rest of the ingredients in the crockpot, including the rest of the cup of liquid. Let cook on low for 5-6 hours and there you have it! Tasty, tasty sausage and rice!

Hot Todd-Tea!


Okay, okay, this is a bit of a lame post, but very relevant to my current interests. I’m desperately trying to fight  off a cold, and I usually make my hot toddies with whiskey, lemon, and honey. Well, this usually results in a very painful shot that does eventually soothe my throat, but it also makes me slightly nauseated and kinda drunk. Cutting it with tea helps cut down on that whiskey burn and makes it last longer and soothe more. Although I do wish I had thought to sweeten the tea a bit with sugar, as I usually take sugar in my tea. Next time! I made mine with Nepal Black from, you guessed it, DavidsTea. Any black or green tea will do, my next toddy  will be with Buttered Rum! I might also try one with their cold remedy teas like Bravissimo (a personal favorite) or Gail’s Cold Remedy. And then I’ll either be feeling better or passed out drunk >.<.

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Pumpkin Chai Butternut Squash Soup


So I’ve been planning this one for a while. As soon as I found a recipe for butternut squash soup, I had to try it with Pumpkin Chai. I *had* to. And with Pumpkin Chai coming back into stores just a few days ago, now seemed the perfect time to try it. It was cruel, leaving this in the crockpot for 8 hours…gah! The house smelled like everything I love about fall. Apples, squash, and warm cinnamon spices. Yum. So much yum. I shared half of this with my mother in law…I kinda regret that now. Ha!

I made mine with my homemade chicken stock, but next time I’ll use veggie so the sister in law can have some. Next time I also won’t dump a bunch of the tea leaves into the crockpot…they did not blend well. Ah well, you experiment, and you learn!

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